


I Think It Had A Meaning, Once.

by EnglishHorrorStory



Series: Bucky and Steve and Tony, BFFs and BFs too [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, If You Squint - Freeform, Scars, Steve/Bucky/Tony - Freeform, Tattoos, bucky barnes has a tattoo, shy bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 07:10:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4470002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglishHorrorStory/pseuds/EnglishHorrorStory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has a tattoo, he thinks it had a meaning, once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think It Had A Meaning, Once.

**Author's Note:**

> I made Bucky Catholic for some reason, don't ask.

Bucky didn't show much skin.

He's been living in the tower for six months now, after S.H.I.E.L.D finally let him out of 24/7 observation and intense therapy, they had deemed him fit to move into the Avengers Tower but only if he was to be kept an eye on and if Bucky left the tower he had to be escorted by at least one Avenger. As soon as he'd been released from Fury's clutches and his one eyed glares Steve had come and picked him up, driving him straight to the tower where Bucky promptly had a panic attack and threatened to kill Stark within the first twenty minutes of his arrival. 

And even though S.H.I.E.L.D had declared him to be mentally stable enough not to go on a killing spree it didn't mean Bucky was recovered. For the first three weeks he woke up screaming every night or any time when he accidentally fell asleep (that happened a lot, it seemed even though he'd spent the majority of the last fifty years frozen he hadn't had much sleep), but then Tony told him he could speak to JARVIS whenever he couldn't sleep. Tony gave him permission to ask the AI any questions about the modern world or anything about the past, or have the AI play music or read or anything to help him sleep. 

So, every night JARVIS teaches Bucky about modern culture. What the new laws were, who was who, what had happened while he was out. 

Once, Bucky had asked about his self, to see if he could remember anything about his past. But it triggered too many flashbacks and now Steve has a protocol JARVIS has to follow that Bucky can only ask those kinda questions when he's with him. 

But Bucky's sleep is a lot better now, six months on. The nightmares aren't every night but theres at least four a week, it's better anyhow. 

Bruce has also been making him eat healthier because "a healthy body is a happy body" and Bucky reckons that Bruce must be right about that, really, because if not he'd be green all the time. At first Bucky didn't want to eat without permission, not to mention he was a little worried someone was slipping something in the food he was given because- well.. because that's what used to happen. When he'd been the Winter Soldier he spent too much time frozen to really have any proper food, let alone favourites. The fed him protein shakes or nutrients through a tube when he was at base, if he was on a mission it was normally take out or go without. Too much solid food gave him stomachache anyways. 

Now sometimes Bucky helped Bruce cook, Banner said it was relaxing and Bucky found that to be true. Bruce likes to cook for everyone so he needs a lot of help so the veteran goes down to the main kitchen every afternoon to help. Tony likes to bake, surprisingly, though he never makes enough time, but now that Bucky wants to help he puts aside a few hours twice a week to do so. 

So yeah, Bucky tries to relax most of the time. Bruce cooks, he cuts vegetables. Tony tinkers, he passes tools. Steve paints, he models. Clint plays computer games, he challenges him to mario kart. Natasha knits, he holds the yarn. Thor drinks, he joins in. Phil collects Captain America memorabilia, he provides what he can from his memories. Pepper likes hair and beauty, Bucky lets her plait his hair. 

He's been doing really well. 

Then, on month seven, Bucky threatens to kill Stark again. 

"I'm just saying! It's the middle of summer, it's honestly so hot that I took the suit out for a ride and I came back half baked! Take the damn hoody off before you overheat!" Tony argues

"No" Bucky says firmly from where he's sat at the breakfast island chopping peppers for Bruce

"Why not?" Tony folds his arms over his chest

"Don't have a shirt on" Bucky shrugs nonchalantly

'And?" The mechanic raises an eyebrow 

"I don't see you walking about without a shirt" he snipes

"I have a _hole_ in my _chest_ and it makes Clint uneasy" Tony replies "and I don't where hoodys in July!"

Bucky thinks that over and well, yeah, okay, point taken. He is hot but his room is two floors down and he promised he'd watch the curry sauce for Bruce while he showered. And there was no way in hell Bucky was walking around shirtless. 

"Go fetch me my shirt and I'll take the hoody off. I have to wait for Bruce to come back" Bucky sighs in defeat and Tony woops as he runs out, almost bumping into Steve and Natasha as he does

Natasha ignores the strange behaviour and instead goes over to slip a few squares of chocolate into the sauce, Bucky wrinkles his nose even though he knows when the sauce is done he won't even taste it. Steve is looking behind in the direction Tony had skipped off in "what's up with him?"

"He's acting like my mother, he's telling me I'm going to bake my insides" Bucky says with an eyeroll

Steve grabs a soda from the fridge and gives Bucky an amused smile "but yet he goes without sleep for three days straight"

Tony reappears with one of Bucky's shirts and a smug grin. "I chose the tightest looking one I could find so I could sit in front and ogle you" he admits shamelessly, Bucky laughs, Steve nearly drowns in his cola. 

"Ain't much to look at, you should be ogling blondie here" he accepts the shirt

"Captain spandex doesn't like it when I ogle him, he complains about it too much" Tony sighs as he sits down beside Steve opposite Bucky "and Nat always scolds me"

Natasha smirks from where she's sat eating the rest of the chocolate on the counter, occasionally stirring Bruces sauce. "He's too virginal, Tony, it makes him blush and I think he might pass out one of these days" as if to prove her point Steve starts blushing

Bucky steps away from the food and pulls the hoody over his head, throwing it out into the living room and hoping it hits the couch. He hears Tony wolf whistle and he laughs, but he carefully angles his body to stop them from seeing the worst of the scarring on his back and around the seam where metal meets flesh. 

'You have a tattoo?" Steve exclaims as he catches sight of the ink 

"Um, yeah" Bucky goes to grab his shirt but Tony grabs it first to prevent him from hiding

"What is it?!" The mechanic exclaims excitedly

"None of ya damn business is what" Bucky grumbles as he tries to get the shirt back whilst simultaneously not showing his back or left shoulder, which is difficult in the presence of Captain America, an assassin and a really fucking nosey mechanic. 

"Can we see?" Tony buzzed with a grin 

"No, give me the damn shirt" Bucky reaches for it again but Tony pulls back 

Steve gasps, a hand going up to his mouth and Bucky knows, just knows, Steve seen the scars Zola left- 

"Buck..." Steve stands and Bucky freezes looking apologetic

See, this is why he keeps his shirt on. Scars always upset people, or scare them, or repulse them. 

"It's beautiful" Steve says quietly as he rounds the breakfast island to touch Bucky's flesh and bone shoulder, his touch is light as if Bucky was a scared animal. 

Still frozen Bucky isn't sure how to react when Steve runs his warm palm between his shoulder blades, gently caressing the ink. He let's his head drop forwards, mostly in defeat knowing they can see the scars he'd been trying so hard to hide but also so his hair with cover his face so know one can tell how much he enjoys Steve's touch. 

"C-can you remember why you got it?" Steve asks hopefully

"I-... I think it had a meaning, once. I'm not sure now"

Steve traces the sorrowful face of the Virgin Mary, her pretty face and brown hair then down to the two angels at her feet. It's a beautiful piece, serene and peaceful, the colour as fresh as the day it was done.

"The wings of these angels.." Steve all but whispers "don't you recognise them?"

"Kinda" Bucky murmurs, he shivers as Steve fingers the golden wings "I think... I think they're something from the war, I'm not sure. They look like a- a symbol?"

Tony can't resist anymore and comes around too, his mouth forming an 'o' shape at the ink. "It's beautiful, Buck, do you know when you got it done?" He asks but he sees the strange, out of place wings and knows exactly what it is, what it means, why Steve looks like hes about to cry

"The 90's apparently, according to- _them_ I went rouge for a couple of days, I came back with this"

"The 90's?" The captain squeaks "christ... I-.. you can't remember what the wings are from?" 

Bucky shakes his head "do you recognise them?" He asks

"Y-yeah.. its the symbol for... The Howling Commandos" Steve says quietly, his hand resting gently on the scarred skin of Bucky's shoulder blade

"That was us, right? Before everything?" Bucky replies hopefully, hoping he's got that right at least

"Yeah" and Bucky can hear the smile in his voice "can you remember anything about them?"

Bucky does, kinda. But it's not pretty. He remembers being a prisoner of war, meeting Zola for the first time..

"the fall" Bucky blurts and shivers when he feels Tony's fingers on his skin beside Steve's

Steve squeezes Bucky's shoulder, he's aware of Bucky's fear of heights and trains and icy rivers. The nightmares about falling.

"My dad said you punched him in the face once" Tony said suddenly and Bucky snorted

"Sorry" Bucky grinned "I hear I used to punch people a lot, mostly for skinny Steve's sake"

"Sometimes you did it even after I got the serum" Steve laughed

They finally stopped touching Buckys back and allowed him to put his shirt on

"You know" Steve spoke "I have your dog tags..."

"Give them to me when I'm better, I don't deserve them yet" Bucky replied instantly

"When you can tell me a little bit about each Howling Commando" Steve nodded "you'll get there"

Yeah, Bucky thought, I'll get there.


End file.
